Thursday, August 19, 2010

Walking Away

Why is walking away so hard?
My brother sent a link to an interview with Michael Cooper, the ex-husband of Elizabeth Gilbert, author of the book on which the movie starring Julia Roberts is based: Eat, Pray, Love.
Michael Cooper comes across as a classy guy, uninterested in casting stones at his ex-wife who has made her fortune from dissing him and the breakup of their marriage.
I’ve been divorced, and I don’t have any interest in casting aspersions at my ex either. Our marriage is what it was. There was plenty of blame to share. We’re both in better places today, and our son is our first priority.
Walking away and having the last word are related. Something in the human psyche desperately wants to have the last word, to say we were right and they were wrong, sort of like “sticking out your tongue” and yelling “nyah, nyah, nyah.”
I think it’s about the need to feel justified. We don’t feel loved or worthy, and yelling the loudest makes us feel like the hole inside is being filled. We need to not feel empty.
One of the truths I’ve been contemplating is that God is Love. It is God’s Love that is expressed when we humans say, “I love you.” My love has nothing to do with me, because I have a hole inside that only God who is Love can fill. There is only God’s Love, and we are invited to reflect that Love to the world.

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