Monday, November 9, 2009

Real Life

It's been almost two months since I last posted to this blog. A lot of life has intervened, and a lot of writing has occurred in other venues, including lots of opinions expressed and advice given. It was a relief to give myself permission to let go of this and my other blog "Stories from Mom's Mouth" so that I could attend to the people in my life who needed my love and my presence completely.

Chief among those people has been my lovely Goddaughter who has emerged on the other side of a five-week mis-adventure not entirely of her own choosing. Please pray for "Ms. Debate Queen." Her spirit is indomitable, and her love is enormous. She is not wrong; she just needs some time and some help.

Families are complex organisms that are never static for a moment. In my Goddaughter's family, each member has strongly held points of view, dreams, hopes, fears, idiosyncracies, stubbornness, flaws and more that complicate an already complex mix when actions are taken that throw everything into a free-wheeling, gyroscopic spinning out. One would like to think, to believe, to cling to, the thought that there are bounds, much like the walls of a pinball machine, that will keep the loved one contained in safety, but life is not so measured. Life, lived large, is not so benign.

I have counseled acquiescence to a pragmatic reality that is irresistible. The words of the Borg, "Resistance is futile," ring in my ears. I am a pragmatist, bottom line. If reality is what is ahead, then let us meet it with eyes wide open, scouring the contours of the horizon for strategic handholds and footholds where we just might be able to make an imprint that is personal, that marks a claim of ownership unembellished by someone else's spoor.

Acquiescence is a sort of choice, a very limited sort of choice between non-choice A and non-choice B. Acquiescence is the choice gleaned out of non-choices. I believe, truly, that in acquiescence lies a glimmer of hope, because acquiescence is about choosing to stay in the game, however stacked the cards against you, choosing to keep your eyes and ears open for the opportunity to make better choices next time.

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